Week 5: Broccoli Seitan Barbecue

In case we haven't met, you should know that any medical procedure I undergo – no matter how routine – will inevitably lead to a bizarre complication. Yep, the kidney stone I had in 5th grade was misdiagnosed as the flu for three weeks while it grew to epic proportions; back surgery the summer before 11th grade should have taken a month to heal, yet I was home-schooled for most of my junior year of high school; and most unfortunately, I was forced into an unprepared and quite hysterical natural childbirth due to unforeseen circumstances with the epidural. So of course, having dental work on Monday left me with an unusual, dangerous infection in my cheek by Wednesday. I was so haggard that I had no enthusiasm for my veggies––need I say more? Luckily, a mighty round of antibiotics had me back in the saddle by Thursday afternoon and experimenting with seitan once again.

Hardcore Texans find it unacceptable that I have lived in the state for six years and have yet to darken the door of a barbecue joint, but why should I when I can make Broccoli Seitan BBQ at home? Served over a bed of rice, this easy dish is festive, fun and filled with flavor; at least if the second helpings of my true Texan hubby and skeptical children are any indication. I would never go to such lavish lengths on an ordinary Thursday, but my return to the land of the living mandated celebration. Since I'd been hiding from my family for two days, I decided to surprise my brood with dessert. Prior to Monday's dental debacle, I had enthusiastically bought two large plantains to grill that were now nearing the end of their bright yellow lives. One quick search of dessert plantains later and voilá––they were baked and served hot over vanilla ice cream in no time. While I could drone endlessly on about my obsession with plantains, I will do us all a favor and just include the recipe here. Suffice it to say, this meal was a true celebration, a fete to the very essence of life itself; For Mama was back in the kitchen and yet another medical crisis had been narrowly averted.